Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
