Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
