your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
