Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
