Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Less talking, more tequila
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
