I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am one with the molecules
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
