Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm too high and old for this...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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