were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my being single is dangerous.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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