if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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