apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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