I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i dont even know how to be here
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
