I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I still have a little drunk in my system
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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