Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
