I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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