I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize