wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
love makes seman taste better
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
