My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just high enough for therapy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
