Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
