just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
