Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
