whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
now i know why i became what i already was.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize