Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
