I want to have your abortion
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
