You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
