last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
