Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
