It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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