Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
