Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
