I hate all girls vehemently.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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