Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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