i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize