We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
