I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
