my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
