Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just gargled with NyQuil
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
