I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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