I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize