Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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