I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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