This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
