Me too!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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