are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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