I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize