I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
