Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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