The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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