hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
