Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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