I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
