was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
