Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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