You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
