woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
