btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just forgot I was standing up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
