Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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