I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize