a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
