i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
