its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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