my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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